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Life isnt the end, its about the journey! May 13, 2011

Posted by firebird16 in Personal thoughts/experiences.
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Heh, i just had to make another post because this came to me a second ago.
Ive actually really been depressed for awhile now. I live in a terrible neighborhood ( the other day just outside my window someone was selling drugs to this other guy. >_<), i really really want to make more money to buy my mom a house in a nice neighborhood. It seemed sometimes that id never get out of this rut (i save as much as i can then something breaks or happens or whatever and sets me back).

short story…
a year ago i had a very nice boss. He was actually one of the best bosses i have ever had. He was not treated very well by his boss. So he moved away to a city up north and it was a really important job (he would have more work but he would be the head of this place instead of second in command). A few months ago i found out he committed suicide. We never found out why, but i sometimes think that he saw the position up north as a "new beginning" as sorts. I can only imagine that his dream turned into a nightmare he couldnt take anymore. I get worried myself alot of times about that. That my dreams will become nightmares that i cant excape.
I drive by his grave almost every sunday and i think to myself "only a year ago he was still my boss and now he's lying in that grave over there.". It reminds me that life is too short. i CANT afford to waste any time hating the people i work with or worrying over the past because its EXHAUSTING. Shoot, im getting grey hairs worrying about stupid things and getting angry about nonsense. I hate my job, and i cant find anything else. I come home exhausted and not able to spend time i want to with my family because im too tired. Its awful and i dont know what to do about it.
But one thing i do know from that man lying in that grave right now… life is WAY too short and you only get one go around. Now how to make it count.

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